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my blog review for zenith hotel by oscar coop-phane”s

I m a street prostitute. Not a call girl or anything. No, a real street whore, with stiletto heels and menthol cigarettes. Narrator Nanou gives a detailed account of her day, from the moment she wakes up with a foul taste in her mouth, in her sordid rented room, until the minute she crawls back into her bed at night to sleep. Interwoven with her story are portraits of her clients. Oscar Coop-Phane invents an astonishing cast of original and deeply human characters losers, defeated by the world around them who seek solace in Nanou s arms. Original and moving, this short book deftly paints a world of solitude and sadness, illuminated by precious moments of tenderness and acts of kindness.
The book very small but tell you a very unique story it very good 
Nanou to me a very street wise girl she seem very lonelier but so do her customers she only every been into being a street prostitute to make money and to live she seem very lost she hates her job but she got no choice in the matter so get to work to live 
The book chapters take on a client in each one they go into detail about there lives 
The book very raw i was hooked it the story i wanted to hear more about her world 
To me Nanou was just a normal girl trying to live she tell you what see feel like what she can taste in her mouth after a working day she just get up performs a service and carry on she tell you all it all her life experience in her world it not a nice world the book very well written it very raw you can feel the sensitivity and passion you can tell the men just want company a life somethings it very sad 
The book not a book i would normal pick up but i did enjoy it very small a compact a very quick read
4 stars read enjoy pass on 
Oscar Coop-Phane was born in 1988. He left home at 16 with dreams of becoming a painter and at 20 moved to Berlin where he spent a year writing and reading classics. There he wrote Zenith Hotel and then Tomorrow, Berlin (Arcadia, 2015). He now lives in Brussels, where he is working on his next novel.
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my weekly wrap up

I read 4 books 1782 pages 
A perfect heritage by penny vincenzi
If you were me by sheila o flanagan 
Dead ever after by charlaire harris 
Doll bones by holly black 
My book of the week
A perfect heritage i loved this book 
I read 16 books in june
  Here the blurb for a perfect heritage 
The House of Farrell - home of The Cream, an iconic face product that has seen women flocking to its bijoux flagship store in the Berkeley Arcade since 1953.
At Farrell, you can rely on the personal touch. The legendary Athina Farrell remains the company's figurehead and in her kingdom at the Berkeley Arcade, Florence Hamilton plies their cosmetics with the utmost discretion. She is sales advisor - and holder of secrets - extraordinaire.
But of course the world of cosmetics is changing and the once glorious House of Farrell is now in decline, its customers tempted away by more fashionable brands.
Enter Bianca Bailey, formidable business woman, mother of three, and someone who always gets her way. Athina and Bianca lock horns over the future of the House of Farrell but it is the past that tells its devastating tale of ambition and ego, passion and wonder.
Here is a tale of survival ... and a perfect heritage.MY WEEKLY WRAP UP 
I read 4 books 1782 pages 
A perfect heritage by penny vincenzi
If you were me by sheila o flanagan 
Dead ever after by charlaire harris 
Doll bones by holly black 
My book of the week
A perfect heritage i loved this book 
I read 16 books in june
Here the blurb for a perfect heritage 
The House of Farrell – home of The Cream, an iconic face product that has seen women flocking to its bijoux flagship store in the Berkeley Arcade since 1953.
At Farrell, you can rely on the personal touch. The legendary Athina Farrell remains the company’s figurehead and in her kingdom at the Berkeley Arcade, Florence Hamilton plies their cosmetics with the utmost discretion. She is sales advisor – and holder of secrets – extraordinaire.
But of course the world of cosmetics is changing and the once glorious House of Farrell is now in decline, its customers tempted away by more fashionable brands.
Enter Bianca Bailey, formidable business woman, mother of three, and someone who always gets her way. Athina and Bianca lock horns over the future of the House of Farrell but it is the past that tells its devastating tale of ambition and ego, passion and wonder.
Here is a tale of survival … and a perfect heritage.

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my blog review for the second time i saw you by pippa croft

Lauren and Alexander’s journey continues in the second novel in Pippa Croft’s Oxford Blue romance series.
It’s the beginning of a new term at Wyckham College, Oxford, and a fresh start for Lauren Cusack. Her fingers were badly burnt when a whirlwind romance with gorgeous English aristocrat, Alexander Hunt, became too hot to handle – and now she’s determined to keep her distance
Her resolve is shaken when Alexander appears on her doorstep – he’s been completely torn apart by some devastating news. Lauren knows that she should stay away, but their chemistry is undeniable and she soon finds herself back in Alexander’s arms
Can Lauren handle the drama that comes with Alexander Hunt? Or will she have to sacrifice the most exhilarating passion she’s ever known . . 
This is the second book but you could read as a standalone book 
The first book the first time we meet was good but i think this one is stronger 
Lauren doing a new term in oxford she trying to get over Alex to me this book now Lauren see her life 
We get to hear about what she thinks of Alex what there love affair was like Lauren is very good with Alex but sometimes i found him pulling the i upper class card a bit to much 
In this book Alex take care of his sister but he not very good at it he made me laugh trying to sort her out
Professor Rafe is still being so slimy but no one want to say anything about him so he gets away with it again in this book 
Alex ex Valentina i did not like at all she vey bitchy what did Alex see in her 
The book full of twist and turns 
Lauren and Alex relationship still Very passionate and a bit obsessive but it written into the story so well 
Lauren finds herself being someone rock but should she tell she stuck as now she not sure as she could shatter someone trust in her i loved the boat race part of the book it was fun to hear about it 
To me Alex is a dark character but you do get to see a vulnerable side to him he got to trust people more he can be very stubborn at times but him and lauren work well together 
Lauren i still like her she more down to earth a very likeable characters the sex scene in the book still very full on but written into story well 
The book very fast paced and gripping Lauren gets so torn between Alex and his sister what should she do 
The end of the book a cliffhanger i can not wait for the next part a great read full of fun sex but a great story too 
4 stars read enjoy pass on 

Pippa Croft is the pen name of an award-winning romantic novelist. After studying English at Oxford, she worked as a copywriter and journalist before writing her debut novel, which won the RNA’s New Writers’ award and was later made into a TV movie. She lives in a village in the heart of England with her husband and daughter.

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my blog rview for the first time we met by pippa croft

When US Senator’s daughter Lauren Cusack arrives at the enchanting Wyckham College of Oxford University, she hopes to mend her broken heart by throwing herself into her studies.
But then English aristocrat Alexander Hunt walks into her life and everything changes. Handsome, brooding, and with his own dark past to escape, Alexander is exactly what Lauren doesn’t need – but she finds herself helplessly drawn towards him
Both Alexander and Lauren know that they should stay away from each other . . . but sometimes desire is so powerful that it conquers all else.
The book is set in oxford the book is a really page turner 
Lauren the main character she come to England to study her master her family are very high up in the USA political scene but to me a bit over protective at times she got to stand on her own two feet she just broken up for her boyfriend too
Then one day she see Alex he seems a very nice young man full of life he got a few secrets to hide when they first meet it does not go down very well Lauren heard all about his reputation and she know she should stay away from him but she is drawn to him soon they get it to a very hot relationship this part of the book very well written it hot . Steamy and passion but it wrote into the story perfect .A few secrets do come out they both just got to talk about them 
Alex father did not like Lauren at all to me the family seem to not want her to be with Alex they just want to cause trouble which they do so well 
Alex to me was a man that would fight for what he wants he was a very passionate man about some things in his life 
Lauren to me was to shy and very unsure of her new English life i could to say she not shy with the hot sex scene in the book she very determined to get by with out using her dad name 
I did not like the professor he was a pervy but his character very good 
The book takes a bit of time to tell you about Alex and Lauren relationship to me Lauren is mixing now with in a society she got no experience in i like how she trying to fit in 
The places and the scene in the book are very well written it was very easy to see the places 
The book a very passionate romance is was gripping as you want to see what happens next i want to read part two now 
4 stars read enjoy pass on 
I got to say i do not normal read this type of book but it was very good 
About the Author
Pippa Croft is the pen name of an award-winning romantic novelist. After studying English at Oxford, she worked as a copywriter and journalist before writing her debut novel, which won the RNA’s New Writers’ award and was later made into a TV movie. She lives in a village in the heart of England with her husband and daughter.


Photo: Love it lol

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Sookie Stackhouse has one last adventure in store.

Life has taken her from a waitress in Merlotte’s Bar, Bon Temps, to part owner; from social outcast to the heart of her community; from a vampire’s girlfriend to the wife of one of the most powerful vampires in the state.

She has survived explosions, revolutions and attempts on her life. Sookie has endured betrayal, heartbreak and grief . . . and she has emerged a little stronger, and little wiser, every time.

But with life comes new trials . . .

The question is, in the end: who will love, who will live, and who will be dead ever after?
I have read all the sookie stackhouse books and this it the last one i could not wait to read i have loved them all i enjoy true blood the tv series too 
I hope to be grip again but i not sure if this book live up to my high expectation i wanted to hear about Eric and Bill but this book not got a lot of them in it to me the three are the main sookie story’s they book very good it was a bit weak in some parts but then it got better i not sure why sookie with sam 
Sookie brought sam back from the dead eric was not happy about this 
Then sookie is arrested for a murder she did not do a lot of her enemy for her past are back in this book they want to destroy her but she going find out what going on she gets her friends in to help her 
Bon temps will not be the same as there going to be not more books 
I like how they tell you more of stookie fairies powers the garden got such big tomatoes and lettuce that cause she got her powers in the mud you hear a lot about about all the house work she doing i would of love more about the vamps the book good but not enough about what i find the other books were about you could tell from the start that sam would end up with sam i sorry to say i was not sure on this book it very well written a ok story but i just wanted more some how 
3 stars ok borrow i would not read again 
You may like this book please remember this is only what i think you may love it

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my blog review for a perfect haritage by penny vincenzi

The blurb 
The House of Farrell – home of The Cream, an iconic face product that has seen women flocking to its bijoux flagship store in the Berkeley Arcade since 1953.

At Farrell, you can rely on the personal touch. The legendary Athina Farrell remains the company’s figurehead and in her kingdom at the Berkeley Arcade, Florence Hamilton plies their cosmetics with the utmost discretion. She is sales advisor – and holder of secrets – extraordinaire. 

But of course the world of cosmetics is changing and the once glorious House of Farrell is now in decline, its customers tempted away by more fashionable brands. 

Enter Bianca Bailey, formidable business woman, mother of three, and someone who always gets her way. Athina and Bianca lock horns over the future of the House of Farrell but it is the past that tells its devastating tale of ambition and ego, passion and wonder.

Here is a tale of survival … and a perfect heritage.
I recommend you all read this book it was fab my book of the year up to now
.I have not read any of Penny Vincenzi book before but i will now i love it 
The book is base on a beauty house called The house of Farrell
Athina Farrell started this company in 1953 with her flag ship store in The Berkelery Arcade 
She made a product called the cream at home then move into the flag ship store The Cream was so on trend in it time but now the company on a bit of a downer .The customers want the new spot on trends that are now more fashionable The House Of Farrell is not right it out of date with the times it a bit old fashion 
To me Athina loved the cream but she very much like the company to stay as it is now she not up to change it to much but the brand needs it the counters are dated the products do not look right money not being made the brand old
Athina will get the customers back but she wants to keep it like it is 
The whole family are working in the company which is so nice her granddaughter Lucy has drop out of college to do a make up course she so good at it she will be a very up and coming make up artist her grandma lets her work sat in the shop 
Her grandma supported her all the way she payed for her training she gets her friend to help promote The House of Farrel on her blog 
The family got to make money fast they take on Bianca Bailey she a very good business women but i think sometimes her family needed to come first not her job i really loved how you hear all about the products the pkt , the marketing side of thing the shop the whole House of Farrell is going to be brought up to date i loved hearing about all the set back the staff the way thing were going to be 
The make up a perfume for the relaunch hours they spend on getting it right but when it came back it was a shock but then a better shock came long but to me the big shock near the end 

Milly is Bianca daughter she having fun but then her so called friends start to bullied her at school on facebook they are so bad to her they make her life hell she tell no one then one day she brought to the house of farrel lucy take care of her a a great friendship is formed the set up doing make on her she then help lucy by going as the model on the blog this is the start of fun times for Milly can she put the bullies behind her the is a very good part of the story very well written it just shows you what kids can be like to each other but she come out on top in the end my heart when out to her 

Florence l loved her so much she been with the company from the start but what the secret she got over Athina all these years she keep it she one of the best sales advisor she the shop extraordinaire i loved how you hear about about the shop how it was what it was like working there she a great lady but her secret may help her one day 

I like that Athina and Bianca do not see eye to eye on The House of Farrel future 
The book about survival ambition and passion i loved all the passion about the company i like how the tried out new things 
The whole book so good it got me hooked i could not put it down 
I worked for one of the top beauty house the book talks about for 10 years it just how the industry it i could just see my self selling in the shop i think it so well research too 
I like how the family life past and present are told 
The only bad thing i got to say is the book very heavy it hardback and big i would like on my kindle lol this book will stay with me i put away to keep i really did love it i loved how the book talk about doing the relaunch in the queen jubilee doing the red / white and blue very british A PERFECT HERITAGE
When you first pick it up you will be swept along into this fab world of glamour sparkle and pleasure did not want it to end 
I love to find out more what happen to lucy milly biance and the house of Farrell after the big day i like to find out lots more the end of the book was very good but sad 
I like to thank Headlines for sending me this to read 
A gem 
One of my best reads of the year up to now 
About the Author
Penny Vincenzi is one of the UK`s best-loved and most popular authors. Since her first novel, Old Sins, was published in 1989, she has written fifteen bestselling novels, most recently The Decision and the number one bestsellers The Best of Times and An Absolute Scandal.

Her first ‘proper’ job was at the Harrods Library, aged sixteen, after which she went to secretarial college. She joined the Mirror and later became a journalist, writing for The Times, the Daily Mail and Cosmopolitan amongst many others, before turning to fiction. Several years later, over seven million copies of Penny’s books have been sold worldwide and she is universally held to be the ‘doyenne of the modern blockbuster’ Glamour.

Penny Vincenzi has four daughters, and divides her time between London and Gower, South Wales.


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my blog review lovelies and lemon cake by sue watson

Love, Lies and Lemon Cake by Sue Watson

I would like to thank fiona for doing this review for me 
The book out on the 27 of june 
The blurb 
Faye Dobson has lost her sparkle. Living on film star fantasies and vague memories of a marriage that once was, she can’t help feeling that life is passing her by. She dreams of being whisked to Paris for dinner, making three wishes at the Trevi fountain and having sex under the stars. But the wrinkles are multiplying, her husband’s passion is for plumbing, and the nearest she’ll get to Rome is a take-away pizza. So when Faye meets Dan the gorgeous Australian surfer guy working in the local deli she can’t help but wonder what it would be like to see the world. He is blonde, tanned, ten years younger and bakes the most amazing lemon cake. Unlike her husband Dan actually listens to Faye, his smile makes her feel fizzy inside, and when he smiles… Oh. My. God. But is Faye being silly? What would Dan see in someone like her? Even if he did have feelings for her, could she give everything up to be with him? A laugh-out-loud, bittersweet comedy about taking your life back before it’s too late. What people are saying about Sue Watson… ‘a talented chick lit author with fresh and unique voice and going on my list of all time faves.’ This Chick Reads ‘Sue’s writing is witty and heartfelt in just the right amounts.’ One More Page
what i say 
The book is a lovely easy read and has some funny parts which make you laugh out loud. Faye Dobson is forty something lady who faces a life with an indifferent husband that would rather watch Jeremy Clarkson on television than have an early night with her he will make you laugh . She finds herself fantasizing about famous actors so that she can fill her time this part of the book very good 

Faye had to stop her uni degree because she found she was pregnant with her daughter Emma. Craig did the right thing and married her even though she was the result of an end of a relationship sleep which was sad Now emma has moved on to uni herself she realises how much of her living list she had not achieved she will do things on this list very soon She wrote the list before she started uni when she thought the world was her oyster which you do when you are young and free there a big world out there Things on the list included learning to ice skate, swim naked in the ocean and see a Santorini Sunset with a lover. However with her husband many of these would not be achieved as he would not fly. In fact she has only managed to do the things at the end of her list marriage and having a child she needs to do more and she set out to do more 

The story involves an Australian called Dan who tries to help her on her way to some of her wishes. Dan a great person full of life omg his lemon cake to die for 
She loves his deli too she likes his blond hair he very tan and he very handsome just what she wants She had the supported of her close friends that she works with in the hairdressers they love to talk in there She makes the decision to leave her husband and things begin to change for her for the better i think 

The book very good I did enjoyed the characters in this story they were all fun they made me laugh too it got me thinking about a living list myself. None quite as ambitious as some of Faye’s list may be going on a boat i get sea sick lol but maybe a visit to Dubai i love to go there it looks fab on tv or just some were to lay in the sun to read this great book 
A lovely summer read a 4 star read enjoy pass on

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this week book buddy

To day book buddy is Simona 
What was favour book as a kid?

The Harry Potter books, I didn’t really enjoy reading before. JK Rowling brought magic to me in two ways 

What books do you like to read ?

I really liked reading chick-lit and Romance books, it’s all about love 

Who you fav author ?

Only 1? Can I say 3 please?! My fave authors are Aven Ellis, Paige Toon and Hannah Beckerman, love them all to bits and their writing is brilliant!!!

What you fav book any why?

I’d have to say Connectivity by Aven Ellis here. I just LOVE this book in so many ways. It’s vivid, gripping, emotional, funny… oh and I’m in love with the main male character.  William Cumberland 

how many books do you read a week?

It depends on how busy I am, usually, between 2-4, mostly about 3 a week.

do you prefer book or kindle and why?

I love my kinlde more and more, but noting hoes over holding a real book in my hands and they look so pretty in a bookshelf.

what are you reading now ?

You’re The Want That I Want by Giovanna Fletcher

have you always been a book worm ?

No, not really, only when I started reading the Harry Potter books and ever since then I’m a huge book worm.

Could you tell me a bit about your self?

I’m Simona Elena, am a 24 year old Swiss book blogger, avid reader and teacher. I love reading, traveling, music, TV series and fashion. I write my own songs and recently I also started writing short stories, I’d love to write a whole novel once. My favourite genres are Chick-lit and Romance, but I also read other genres. My blog is called Sky’s Book Corner, I started it last September and I love everything about blogging. You can find me on Twitter: @skydreamersimi, I’d love to chat and get to know more bloggers and readers. http://skysbookcorner.blogspot.com/
I would like to thank Simona for doing this post for me fab answers too 
Please check out her fab blog 
Thank you amandajayne


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The first chapter of one hundred proposal by holly martin


I been ask my Holly Martin to let you read the first chapter of her fab new book one hundred proposal 
You can buy on the 25 of june 

‘Ok, you can open your eyes now,’ Harry said.
I blinked in the gloom of the cave. Moonlight tumbled through the opening above us, reflecting off the waterfall as it cascaded into the pool below. We had been in Australia for just a few days but I knew it would never cease to amaze me. Dancing in the pockets of the cave walls were hundreds of fireflies, sparkling like fairy lights.
Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.
The fireflies started to gather together and slowly a shape was formed. I frowned in confusion and then within seconds the words, ‘Suzie, Marry Me,’ stood proud against the cave walls, written by the fireflies.
I whirled round to face Harry in shock. ‘How did you do that?’ I looked back at the fireflies, not wanting to miss anything. Would they perhaps move to form the lyrics of my favourite song? Were they super trained fireflies and in a minute they’d all whip out their mini cheerleader pom-poms and start some kind of dance where they would balance precariously on each other’s backs?
‘It’s some kind of fruit juice, they love it.’
I fumbled in my bag for my camera. ‘We have to get a picture for the website.’
I fired off a couple of shots and I could see a few other tourists had entered the cave and were clearly waiting for my answer. They’d be waiting for a long time.
‘So what do you think?’ Harry said. ‘Is this the perfect proposal?’
‘It’s definitely one of your best, very romantic.’ I focused my attention on the photos I was taking. They were going to look fantastic with the waterfall in soft focus in the background and the fireflies in sharp detail set against the inky blue light of the moon.
‘But still not the perfect proposal?’
‘Not for me, but someone else would love it.’ I watched the faces of the other tourists fall at my callous response. ‘We’re not together, we just work with each other.’ One couple looked at me dubiously, so I pressed on. ‘Our company creates the perfect proposal, this kind of thing is our bread and butter.’
I resisted the sudden urge to rush over to them and start handing out business cards. As if reading my mind, Harry slung an arm round my shoulder, restraining me with his hand.
I looked up at him innocently but he didn’t seem convinced.
The tourists moved further down the cave, leaving us alone.
‘You always do that,’ Harry said.
‘What, promote our business? I know, I can’t help it. I’m just so proud of what we’ve achieved that I want to tell anyone that listens and anyone that doesn’t.’
‘No, not that. You always say our company, our business. It’s yours, you started it. I’m just the tech guy.’
It was just me to start with. I created the.PerfectProposal.com over two years ago when my boyfriend at the time proposed drunkenly to me over a greasy kebab. It struck me that maybe the menfolk of this world might need a little helping hand to create a proposal their girlfriends would remember forever. Although the greasy kebab is not one I’m likely to forget.
Harry was my web designer. When the business first started he would come by my office, the back bedroom in my home, every day to help update the website with my new ideas, photos and special offers. In the end it made sense to make him a permanent feature. Our website looked fantastic and as an online company this was integral to our success.
But Harry wasn’t just the geeky IT guy, far from it. He was the biggest man I had ever seen in my life, with large thighs and big feet. He had stubbly, dark hair and chocolate eyes. But he also had a vivid imagination – where I was organising the logistics for a champagne helicopter trip, he would be the one that would come up with something completely unique like using fireflies.
‘And you always put yourself down. We’re equal partners now, you helped to make the company a success too,’ I said.
He shrugged, never keen to accept that he played such an important part in it. He gestured to the fireflies that were starting to break formation now. ‘Is it too sickly?’
I let my camera hang round my neck and leaned into him, I loved the way I fitted against him. ‘I love it, I really do, it’s… magical. But there’s still something missing.’
Was there really such a thing as a perfect proposal? Three months ago, just before Valentine’s Day, Harry had made it his mission to provide me with one. But deep down I knew what I wanted and I doubted Harry would be able to deliver it. I should have told him that when he first started this wild goose chase. It would have saved me a lot of heartache.

Chapter One

Three Months Before
I put the phone down on another excited client and sighed. It was February 11th and we’d had a surge of customers all desperately wanting to propose on top of the Eiffel Tower on Valentine’s Day. I felt like screaming. It was only by careful planning that I’d arranged that my customers weren’t going to be there at the same time. That’s just what a girl wants to feel special, to see other girls being proposed to at the same place and time that she was. Was there no originality anymore? Harry was brilliant at coming up with unique proposals, but no matter how many times I had tried to sell Harry’s ideas to them, they wanted the traditional and that was that.
‘Another Eiffel Tower?’ asked Harry as he absentmindedly uploaded photos to our rolling gallery.
‘He wants a dozen red roses delivered to the observation deck at eight.’ I rubbed my head in defeat. ‘What about something different, going to the ballet or proposing over a bag of chips at the end of Brighton Pier?’
He swivelled in his chair. ‘What would be your perfect proposal?’
I looked at him and had a sudden flash of him holding me in his arms and asking me to marry him.
‘I don’t know, the perfect guy would definitely be a bonus.’
‘Ok so you have your perfect guy and it’s not greasy kebab boy –’
‘Let’s be clear, it was the kebab that was greasy not the man.’
He waved away the details. ‘So Orlando Bloom or some other non-greasy hunk is asking you to marry him, how would he do it?’
I took a sip of tea whilst I pondered this. If one of my customers phoned up at a loss for inspiration I had a hundred ideas. But for me, my mind was blank.
‘I have an idea.’ Harry’s eyes were suddenly bright with excitement. He whirled round on his chair and started tapping away furiously on his computer. I peered over his shoulder at our website.

Proposer’s Blog
How Do You Propose to a Proposer?
Over the next hundred days I intend to find out. I will find one hundred ways to propose to our Chief Proposer Suzie McKenzie, and post the results here for your enjoyment. One thing’s for sure, not one of my proposals will be on top of the Eiffel Tower with a dozen red roses.

‘You can’t put that, we’ve had fifteen customers who want to propose like that over the last week,’ I said, ignoring the sudden thundering of my heart that Harry was going to propose to me.
‘Then maybe they’ll have a rethink.’ Harry was already uploading a picture of a diamond ring onto the blog.
‘Or ask for their money back.’
But Harry was still writing.

Day 1: The Traditional Proposal. Location: Our office.

He stood up and got down on one knee – yanking the snake ring off his thumb, he held it aloft to my shocked face.
‘Suzie McKenzie, you are my best friend and I cannot imagine finding anyone I would rather spend the rest of my life with. Marry me.’
The world stopped. My mouth was dry. How unfair was it that the one thing I wanted most in the world was happening right in front of me and it was as real as a pair of breasts on Sunset Boulevard.
I wanted to snatch the ring off him, stuff it on my finger and march him down to the nearest registry office. But I didn’t.
I cleared my throat of the huge lump. ‘Too clichéd, wrong location, wrong ring.’
He grinned as he appraised his ring and stood up, clearly not fussed by this rejection. He started typing.

Crashed and Burned. Apparently a snake ring with evil red eyes and the beige walls of our cramped office isn’t good enough for her. I’ll try again tomorrow.

Surely not. A hundred days of this torment? I didn’t think I could bear it.
He looked at his watch. ‘Oh, I’ve got to go, hot date with Sexy Samantha again tonight.’
Samantha was his first girlfriend in nearly a year. When I first met him he seemed to go through a different girl each week, so I wasn’t sure why he’d gone through the sudden dry patch. But Samantha was definitely the type to tempt him out of it.
I’d had the pleasure of meeting Sexy Samantha the night before. Suspicious of Harry’s relationship with his best friend, she’d barrelled into my home and demanded that Harry introduce me. I came downstairs in leggings and an oversized black hoodie – I knew I was hardly dressed to impress. And impress her I didn’t. The look of relief when Samantha saw me was palpable. She, on the other hand, was a vision of heavenly loveliness. She was almost as tall as Harry, with long blonde hair and curves everywhere. My eyes were immediately drawn to a big pair of breasts, squeezed between an overly tight top. Harry was definitely a breast man. All of his girlfriends were very well-endowed in the breast department. Some of the breasts, I suspected, weren’t even real – though Harry didn’t seem to mind. I was more in the straight up, straight down department, definitely no curves and not really any breasts to speak of.
I watched Harry log off his computer with haste and obvious excitement about what Sexy Samantha had in store for him that night.
‘I have a hot date too,’ I blurted out, watching for any flicker of jealousy. Of course there was none.
‘That’s great Suze.’ He looked genuinely pleased. ‘You haven’t seen anyone since Jack…’ He trailed off. My life was defined into two segments. Before Jack and After Jack. I wondered if Jules felt the same. He grabbed his jacket, averting his eyes from me, perhaps knowing that he had said something he shouldn’t. ‘It’s about time you got back on the horse again. We can swap notes tomorrow.’
‘Or not.’ I couldn’t bear thinking about that conversation. The literal ins and outs of Harry’s date would be something I really didn’t want to hear. I’d changed the subject twice that morning already when he started giving me explicit details that would be right at home on the pages of an erotic fiction novel. Sexy Samantha was far kinkier than those baby blue eyes might suggest. Besides, what did I have to contribute to that conversation? My hot date consisted of a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and a night in with the beautiful Brad Pitt. I logged off my own computer, keen to show him I also had something exciting to run off to.
‘Where did you meet him?’
I racked my brain as I fluffed out my hair in the reflection of a photo showing me and Harry covered in snow and grinning ear to ear after sledging at the indoor Snow Zone. Before Jack.
‘Skiing,’ I said, then wished I hadn’t.
He stopped in his hasty exit. ‘Skiing? When have you been skiing?’
‘I go every Sunday, skiing lessons, he’s my ski instructor.’ I was making it worse.
‘You hate skiing.’
I had said that hadn’t I. Because this photo was taken when we had our first and last skiing lesson a year before. I had spent forty minutes falling on my bum – as kids as young as five glided effortlessly past me – and the last twenty minutes of the lesson, after Harry had been upgraded to the adult slopes, trying to get up and rolling around on the floor with my skis in the air, looking like an oversized beetle stranded on its back. Harry had felt sorry for me that I had failed so spectacularly and had taken me sledging instead. Much more up my street. There was no skill at all involved in sliding down a slope in a red plastic sledge.
‘I like it now. I’m very proficient. Obviously just needed the right instructor.’
‘Well that’s great, maybe we can go together sometime.’
I fixed a smile onto my face. ‘Maybe.’
‘What’s his name?’
I cast around for a suitable name and a suitable adjective to describe him, something comparable to Sexy Samantha. I had nothing, no names in my head at all. The only name in my head was Harry and that would be too weird. He was staring at me, waiting for me to come up with a name, the silence stretched on. I had to say something.
‘Tim.’ I almost shouted out with relief. ‘Tiny Tim.’
Great. Just great.
Harry’s face fell. ‘Tiny Tim?’
‘As in…’ he waggled his little finger at me.
‘No, no, of course not, he’s very big in that department. Big all over in fact. Huge. It’s kind of an ironic name.’
‘Big like me?’
‘Well I have no idea how big you are in that department.’ My eyes cast down to the sizeable bulge in his jeans and I felt my cheeks burn as he clearly saw me checking him out.
‘I meant in height,’ Harry said. I’m sure I saw his mouth twitch as he supressed a smile.
‘Oh yes, he’s very tall.’
‘Good. That’s good. I have a friend who’s a ski instructor at the Snow Zone, he might know your Tim. What’s his surname?’
I was a terrible liar.
‘Tim Timmings?’
‘That’s right.’
A horn tooted outside and Harry peeled back the net curtain to wave at Sexy Samantha as she leaned on the bonnet of her sexy red convertible. I didn’t think I’d ever be so relieved to see her again.
‘Well have fun.’ Harry threw me a cursory wave as he thundered down the stairs. A second later I heard the front door slam.
I peered out the window, hoping not to be noticed as Harry swept Sexy Samantha into his arms and swung her round as if he hadn’t seen her in months. As he deposited her on the floor she waved up at me and I was forced to wave politely back.
With a wheel spin and the stereo blaring out something young and hip, the red convertible roared up the road, taking my heart with it.
I’d been in love with Harry for two long, painful years and we were further away today from getting together than we had been when we first met. We were now firmly in the friend zone and there was never any coming back from that.
Two years was way too long for unrequited love. It was time I moved on with someone else. I would just fall out of love with him, simple as that.
I sighed as I walked into my bedroom and got changed into my cow print onesie. I flicked through some songs on my iPod until I found something suitably rousing and as Gloria Gaynor started belting out ‘I am what I am’, I turned up the volume, leapt up onto the bed and danced and wiggled my bum in time with the lyrics. I was highly skilled in the playing of air drums and as Gloria reached a crescendo so did my frenetic drum playing. As the instrumental kicked in I leapt off the bed, doing the splits mid-air. I pulled a muscle in my groin and as I flicked my hair theatrically out of my face I saw Harry’s eyes widen in horror as I landed on top of him, one leg somehow hooked over his shoulder as my other foot kicked him square in his crotch.
He screamed in pain. I screamed with embarrassment as he staggered back and landed hard on his bum, my leg still wrapped round his neck.
Gloria was still singing loudly in the background as we stared at each other. Finally I managed to speak.
‘What are you doing here?’
‘Currently, wondering if I’ll ever be able to have sex again. Can you please get off my lap?’
I quickly climbed off him, kneeing him in the face as I tried to stand up. He slowly staggered to his feet, doubled over in obvious pain.
‘I forgot my wallet,’ he said, by way of explanation.
I swallowed. ‘You saw me dance?’
He lifted his head and this time there was no mistaking the grin. ‘From the very beginning to the dramatic finale.’
I groaned.
‘I better go, Samantha will be wondering where I am. Nice onesie by the way. Does Tiny Tim have one too? A horse or a pig perhaps?’
I stared down at myself, at the pink udders hanging limply from my stomach, and wanted the ground to swallow me up. ‘He’s not coming round till later.’
‘Of course not. And I imagine he thinks you look quite cute in it.’
Cute? Puppies were cute. Is that how he thought of me, as a cute little puppy?
He moved to the top of the stairs and I followed him.
‘Do you think I look cute in it?’
He turned and walked back up a few stairs, kneeling on the stair below me so we were eye to eye. ‘Yes.’
My heart dropped. I was so far in the friend zone I was now categorised as cute. He’d be patting me on the back next and telling me he saw me like a sister.
‘Sexy cute?’
My heart sank into my feet.
‘I bet Samantha would look sexy in it?’
‘I doubt it. I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to look sexy in it.’
I felt slightly better at this.
‘And don’t underestimate the value of cute, it’s a great quality to have.’ He leaned forward and kissed me on the nose. ‘And don’t stay up too late, I have a big day planned for you tomorrow.’
He ran down the stairs and was gone a second later.
I touched my nose, still feeling the softness of his lips. He thought I was cute. I smiled as I fell in love with him all over again.

To see chapter 2 check back here tomorrow or pre –order your copy of One Hundred Proposals now. http://amzn.to/1ouP9w0

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